August 1, 2008 - 12:11pm
News

Seafair

By Wally Edge

Ah, Seafair.

The annual event wraps up this weekend with the hydroplane races. It's like NASCAR, only on the water. With better coffee.

The Navy gets to flaunt its flying skills and all of downtown gets to listen to the soothing sounds of afterburners. With the added bonus of extra traffic when I-90 closes.

Skip Rowley, real-estate developer, gets to pretend like people know (or care) who he is. HINT: King Neptune gives lots of money to Republicans.

Dino Rossi gets to wear a vest and play cowboys and indians.

A bunch of dudes calling themselves "pirates" get a little grab-ass while saying, "arrrgh."

Lake Washington gets to welcome enough gas, oil and, ahem, whatever else gets thrown over the side on the log boom, to make it unsafe for swimming for the next two months.

Rich people watch from VIP tents or their own decks, behind the protection of city-provided chain link fences. Poor(er) people roam wild over Lake Washington Boulevard, sign up for the Army in exchange for a free t-shirt, wonder at the marvel of a blow-up portable McDonald's, and turn themselves a bright, noxious, pink in the hot sun. Middle class people have to work that day.

The big race usually comes down to cheap beer versus beef jerkey, and occassionally some home improvements thrown in for good measure. Insert your own class/trash/husband joke here.

And everyone gets to pretend like they're not drunk on the way home.

WALLY EDGE can be reached via email at politickerwa@aol.com.
Related topics: Dino Rossi, Skip Rowley, Seafair, NASCAR, hydroplane, lake washington
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